am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
