there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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