do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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