Tell her she can't have a vagina
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
