this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If I die, sorry about rent.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
