We're like a lot better than the average bears
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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