UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize