Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
