Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize