brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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