But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
