they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
