please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
