Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
