I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
