I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
