how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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