Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
