does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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