these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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