We're like a lot better than the average bears
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
