you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
