Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize