I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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