hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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