I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
