is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
