I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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