I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
