I cockslap morals
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize