im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
