God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
