ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
