Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize