In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
