i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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