i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
this boner is exhausting
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
