So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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