...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize