I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
