All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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