What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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