he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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