I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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