Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
are you so shy because you have an std?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
