Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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