im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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