I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
