He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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