Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you never un-have a 4some
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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