When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize