sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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