I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you didnt know i had herpes?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
