it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize