When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
