I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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