I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
