Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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