No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
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