I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
