And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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