spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize