It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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