what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
