Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
