There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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