I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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