That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
