question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
