you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
