So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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