Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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