May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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