I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's just like the Real World with babies
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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