we have officially lost it.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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